A Journal Entry: Part 2 - Hope at the end of my rope.
Part 2 Disclaimer: This won’t make as much sense if you don’t read part 1. So please read the previous post first : Part 1 I do not see a light at the end. I do not see a reason for hope. I do not feel there is any logical reason to expect anything different from a life that has already brought so much pain, to suddenly shift and turn toward happiness and peace. But I am choosing that hope anyway. I feel almost mad at myself for doing so. I can hear a voice say “you are betraying us!” “We have been with you from the beginning and you know nothing ever goes right. You know we are angry and tired and depressed and weak and scared and we can’t survive this!.” “How dare you try to have hope, you foolish mortal.” Part of me just isn’t ready for this hope. I’m actually quite fine staying at this level of the rope and complaining and crying about my situation. It feels almost safer to stop here and just be afraid. Yell, scream and fight for my right to be afrai...
