Becoming Coco

How do you stay positive when you feel so totally the opposite? This is the age-old question. I’ve found the totally unsexy truth is - discipline. Literally, you have to decide to speak, think and act the opposite of how you feel until it becomes your new truth. It sounds simple, but it can feel like the hardest thing in the world to do. That’s why so many of us lack discipline. Discipline means doing the things you don’t feel like doing at the moment you don’t feel like it. It’s easy to go for a run, do your chores or think something happy in a moment of high energy, but many other times we don’t want to do anything and that’s when you need discipline. We usually have more discipline for things that bring immediate consequences. For example, being late for work tends to have a more immediate consequence than thinking something negative about yourself for the 1000th time. That’s why using your willpower to think positively and choose a better perspective is one of the hard...

Part 2 Disclaimer: This won’t make as much sense if you don’t read part 1. So please read the previous post first : Part 1 I do not see a light at the end. I do not see a reason for hope. I do not feel there is any logical reason to expect anything different from a life that has already brought so much pain, to suddenly shift and turn toward happiness and peace.  But I am choosing that hope anyway. I feel almost mad at myself for doing so. I can hear a voice say “you are betraying us!” “We have been with you from the beginning and you know nothing ever goes right. You know we are angry and tired and depressed and weak and scared and we can’t survive this!.” “How dare you try to have hope, you foolish mortal.”  Part of me just isn’t ready for this hope. I’m actually quite fine staying at this level of the rope and complaining and crying about my situation. It feels almost safer to stop here and just be afraid. Yell, scream and fight for my right to be afrai...

Today I woke up and felt so lost and overwhelmed by everything I had to face today. This is the journal entry I wrote. It’s my own personal journal so I am not going to edit it for grammar or mistakes. I don’t know if it will make sense to anyone, but if even one person relates and feels understood because of this then that will be enough.  My suggestion - Read part 1 and take a minute to reflect and respond. Then read part 2 where I find hope. And please let me know if you relate or appreciate this in anyway because it means a lot to me and everyone else to know we are not alone.   Journal: 10/16/18 What do you do when you feel all Hope is lost? When you feel like you gave it your best effort, then threw on your last ditch effort, and pushed a little more after that. Your body is literally and metaphorically bent and bruised. You feel like you can’t push one more step. And you question whether there truly is any force for good in this world because if there ...