Becoming Coco

Warning this is a raw unedited Journal Entry. It shows my mind at a point of darkness when I wrote to release the pain and hopefully find some hope. I don't feel this way everyday, but these are the thoughts I have sometimes as a person who struggles with clinical depression and ADHD. This is my mind's journey on a dark day.  What are you supposed to do when you too terrified to go after your biggest dreams in life? The answers most self-help gurus or well meaning friends and mentors give are obvious and I've heard them all before, but they don't actually solve my problem. I am terrified to go after what I really want in life so I self-sabotage every step of the way. All I've ever wanted to do was be an actress. I remember being 10 years old and begging my parents to take me to an audition with an acting agency that was passing out fliers at the mall. They said my brother and I were photogenic and even at age 10 I knew they were lying, at least about me.  I was born...

After a good friend of mine suggested this topic to me, I thought for a while where to begin, then I procrastinated and finally late one night it hit me. If you have never really tried eating healthy before how should you begin? Replacements! What if you aren't a health-conscious eater, but you want to be? Maybe you never have been successful with dieting or you haven't had the desire to and now you think it's time to get healthy. You may want to eventually go all out, but you're new to this and you need to start small.  The easiest way to start is with the simple act of replacing. This means slowly switching out your current food and life choices for slightly more healthy versions one-by-one until you reach your health goals. It may seem simple, but too many people try to start being healthy by going straight for the latest diet or trying to change everything at once. We are bombarded by all the latest health claims and diet fads. Many of us get overwhelmed and guil...

(Cool picture from my hike, more on that later) Overall the first week went pretty good. With my BMI range I shouldn't be losing more than 1 pound a week and I didn't so no surprise there. The positives: I went down 4 pounds, but only 1 is verifiable (see previous post on why scales suck). And I went down 1 body fat % point.  The negatives : I had a headaches and cloudy thinking. However if you read my notes there were other possible explanations for those phenomena.  Overall a good start and if the trend continues I may be a believer of GC, but it really depends on if the trend continues.  (Well work night technically, but I do work at school during the day. I'm a secret agent by night.) Day 4 GC Today I feel tired and cloudy headed, but I think it's because I just woke up from a nap. I was tired probably because I got to bed at 3 am. I couldn't sleep last night because I had coffee at 10pm.  Note to self: don't have coffee at 10 pm no matter how cold and ti...