Becoming Coco

How can we save her mind, if you won't let her exist?  You know what really hurts? When the thing that gave you hope in the middle of your mental health mess—the dark, dreamy mirror you held up to your soul—gets shelved. Abandoned. Not because it wasn’t good. But because some corporate algorithm said, “Meh.” That’s what happened in April 2023 when EA officially said “no thanks” to Alice: Asylum —the third chapter in American McGee’s twisted, gorgeous retelling of Alice in Wonderland . McGee had poured his entire heart (and the hearts of 10,000+ fans on Patreon) into creating a Design Bible, full production plan, and pitch-perfect proposal. EA still said no. Not just “we won’t make it,” but also “you can’t either.” They declined to license the IP to him or anyone else. So basically, they locked the door to Wonderland and swallowed the key. American McGee was crushed. He said he was “emotionally quite destroyed,” and then—he retired. Just like that. The Mad Hatter packed up and left ...

I dreamt forever about having my own house. When I first got married nearly 9 years ago I assumed we'd save up for and buy a house in 5 years or so. That seemed like a good long time and I thought we'd get a really cute little house with character right in the middle of downtown La Mesa, in sunny San Diego county where we both grew up. The houses at the time were pricey, but within reach for a couple who saved for a few years and had two decent paying jobs, which we both were on the way to having. But as time went on we seemed to never have a time where we both had two decent paying jobs. One of us would get a good 30-40k a year job and then the other would be in a lower paying job, or be unemployed. One time I got my dream job and then my husband's company let him go and shut down. Then my dream job turned out to be a nightmare in disguise and my husband got passed over for a promotion for a job that was literally what he was already doing and assured that he was going to ...

A letter to the dear one’s who suffer from depression or seemingly unmanageable anger, pain and loneliness. I see you. There is hope. For anyone who has or does or knows someone who has or does suffer from Depression or other mental health disorders I wrote this for you with love. My dear friend, I know how it feels to be angry all the time and you don’t exactly know why. Maybe it’s because the people around you are annoying and hurtful and bringing you down. But deep down you know that’s not the main reason. I know how it feels to feel empty, hollow and sad. To want to be with people, but the second you are with people you just feel annoyed by them. To feel so alone because even though you want to be happy and have friends, you ultimately don’t know how to access the feelings required to be happy and be friendly. I have been there and many times I am there. Trying to love and be loved, but the smallest actions of others sets me off and makes me angry or hurt or annoye...