What you see is not reality : Social Media

Just finished watching the Fyre festival documentary on Netflix
.

 I think this should be a required film to view for humans because it reminds us of the danger that comes when we get caught up in the seemingly perfect lives of those we see on social media.

Briefly the story goes that one man, Billy McFarland, was able to sell a team of people on his visionary dream  of holding a music festival that would allow influencers and anyone who could afford the high ticket cost to live a dream weekend in luxury on a private island in the Bahamas. 

The main way they sold everyone on this idea was not with facts or actual evidence of having this island (turns out they didn’t), but by showing them pictures on social media of models on jet skis and having influencers repost an orange box which symbolized their attendance to this elite event shrouded in mystery. 

The event was cancelled after everyone arrived to a total disaster. Nothing they were promised through the pictures of models was in line with the reality of what occurred.  It seems Influencers and social elite were scammed in part by the strong pull of FOMO and the desire to be part of the in crowd at any cost. 

There is a lot you can take away from this story, but one thing that stood out to me was the power of images we see on social media and how we blindly accept what we see as reality, when it often is not. 

Just because I once took this picture, doesn't mean
 I live everyday in a magical world of rainbows and butterflies.
 I just went to the Getty Museum one time.

We live in a world today where people are being sold a fantasy world daily through social media. 

We see pictures of beautiful people wearing designer clothes and going to beautiful vacation spots.

We are being subconsciously programmed to believe that wealth and luxury is the greatest good and can be achieved simply by becoming instagram famous. 

The strong desire to be part of the “elite” group of influencers combined with the pull of #FOMO is part of what drove so many people to pay for such an experience as the infamous Fyre Festival. 

They were scammed and I worry that it’s altogether too easy now days for people to fall prey to this false idea of the dream life. In smaller ways we are all being scammed everyday. 

We are scammed when we see the photos on social media of celebrities , models and even our friends and believe that their lives must be better than ours. 

Even the average person is posting a picture of their everyday life that paints it in the most ideal light possible. We don’t post pictures of our messy rooms or bad hair days.

We know, yet subconsciously forget that what we are seeing online are simply snapshots of the best moments only. Or possible not even a best moment, but a pretty looking one. We ignore logic because it’s much easier to go with what we see right in front of us. Pretty pictures are so deceptive. 

I own none of these clothes I am wearing here.

When we see that everyone online appears to be having a better time than us we subconsciously start to feel like we are missing something in our lives. We question whether our relationship is as fulfilling as our friend who just posted the most gorgeous picture of her kids and her husband, and added a paragraph below about how lucky she is. 

Wow, they look so happy we think. What we don’t see is the fights they have over the dinner table, which are not unlike our own. Even happy people have disagreements. Even happy people have hard times. Do not be deceived into thinking these don’t exist simply because you only see them when they are happy.

So what can we do to combat this phenomenon? Should we stop posting pictures of ourselves online? Is it irresponsible to show only the best sides of us? Should I start posting pictures of my messy house? 

My actual messy house with Fyre Festival documentary on the TV

No. I’m not going to stop posting pretty pictures on social media and I don’t think you should either. Let’s be honest. There IS value to beauty and there IS art in making the best picture you can. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good or share your creative shots. We enjoy looking at beauty and sharing what’s beautiful about our lives with others can help us focus on the good in our lives too.

So what’s the solution? 

I believe the best in humanity. We aren’t trying to lie to one another, but we never question why we are competing with one another . 

Why does it feel so good to post the best pictures we can edit together and share with everyone we know? 

Why does it feel so good to be liked by the push of a button even though we know that photo doesn’t 100% represent who we actually are or what we actually look like in person? 

Simply to be aware that the problem is there and to try to be more cognizant of it when you post is the beginning. Start asking your motivations behind posting and consuming social media

Are we simply anesthetizing ourselves from whatever pain we have of not living up to the lives we wish we had?

Do we feel we have to post a really great pic of ourselves because otherwise we won’t feel as good about ourselves when compared to our friends? 

Before posting ask yourself what your goal is with this post?

Are you sharing your beauty and appreciation with others to bring joy and have fun?

Art has its own value, as does sharing art.
There's nothing wrong with that.

Or do you feel you need to compete with your other friends and family?

Are you trying to express your creativity ? 

Or are you trying to front that you are special and somehow better than others by having the most unique shot?

Are you taking and sharing your best images because it brings you joy about your self and your life?

Or are you trying to hide the pain in your life by presenting a skewed image to the world?

Are you trying to gain attention of others with pretty pictures to share your truth or share a message that is important to you and the world ?

Or are you trying to gain attention to promote yourself for personal gain no matter what it may cost to others well-being? 

Pause and think deep what your true intentions are for each post, because intention is everything.

And when you view others content remember the reality behind these photos. 

Looks glamorous, but going here didn't transform my life, nor make me rich.
 It was fun for a day then life continues.

Let’s remember that our subconscious will come to its own, often wrong, conclusions about what we are seeing if we don’t actively combat it with truth. 

For example : 

We see someone on the beach in Hawaii with a glorious tan and without realizing it our subconscious is thinking “wow look how gorgeous and lucky they are. They have time and money to travel. They just have an amazing wonderful life. They have a much happier life than me.”

The reality may be that that person works out 4 hours a day for their body and saved up for a year or more for their vacation. They worked hard to earn it and we could do the same if we put our mind to it.

It’s also possible they took that picture to feel better about themselves and in reality they feel their life sucks right now. 

Maybe they put the vacation on their credit card so they could have a moment of relaxation, but they got in a fight with their s/o like 10 min before this picture was taken, they are behind on almost all their bills and they actually have no idea what they want to do with their life except this vague notion of being Instagram famous. You don’t know.

Keep things in perspective. 

I think many of us know this, but have you ever noticed that despite knowing this you scroll through Instagram or Facebook and an hour later you feel like crap?

You weren’t actively thinking anything negative so why the mood change?

It’s very likely that if you aren’t actively thinking something you are subconsciously thinking something else. So that’s why I say question everything. 

When you are on social media make sure you aren’t a passive consumer because that’s when your subconscious takes over and comes to its own conclusions. 

Remember the subconscious is often defaulting to negative beliefs. You have to consciously choose to think logically and more positively when viewing social media. Otherwise your subconscious is likely to be spreading messages about lack, scarcity, not being good enough, and how you don’t size up. Take back control when looking at a photo that makes you feel lack by actively tell yourself “this may be beautiful, I appreciate the lighting, outfit , etc. , but it is not an accurate depiction of their whole life. They have just as many ups and downs as everyone else.”

So make sure you are not just a passive consumer of social media, but actively choosing what to think as you view the pictures on your feed. 

Keep your mind vigilant even when something seems benign like an image. Your subconscious thinks through images, not words and it never forgets so you be careful about what you are constantly looking at as well. If you are feeling a lot of FOMO and lack perhaps it’s time change who you follow or spend less time on social media . 

When you do look at images choose to think only the best about yourself, your life and those in the pictures, and you will come away with less FOMO and less comparison fatigue. 

My motivation for taking this photo was to creatively
capture the beauty of this light fixture.

When you post images try to be aware of the motivation behind posting and ask yourself questions to determine if you are doing 
this for reasons that fulfill you or reasons that just keep you numb to your true experience. 

When we accept that what we see is not reality or at least not the entire reality of those who post the pictures, we will be much freer to live in a world bombarded by images without feeling lack. 

If we more often question what we see on social media we won’t have to worry about being scammed into believing our life is not enough.