Becoming Coco

I’m trying to break a habit of perfectionism and it’s really tripping me out because it’s not a simple one step solution. I’m not just trying to be perfect all the time because I’m afraid people won’t like me if I’m not perfect. It’s a mixture of things. So I’m learning about thought patterns of perfectionist.  First, perfectionists have a pattern of looking at things as “all or nothing” (thanks Rachel Luna for pointing this out on her podcast).  If we can’t accomplish the whole task in the timeframe we want or have we may discount the option of doing it in chunks and get discouraged or procrastinate.  One example of this is if you can’t do all the dishes right now because you don’t have time, but you have time to do half the dishes, an all or nothing perfectionist would just put off the whole task.  Or maybe you have a goal at work to get a certain number of tasks done. Let’s say theres 10.  While a non-perfectionist may also not comple...

Just finished watching the Fyre festival documentary on Netflix .  I think this should be a required film to view for humans because it reminds us of the danger that comes when we get caught up in the seemingly perfect lives of those we see on social media. Briefly the story goes that one man, Billy McFarland, was able to sell a team of people on his visionary dream  of holding a music festival that would allow influencers and anyone who could afford the high ticket cost to live a dream weekend in luxury on a private island in the Bahamas.  The main way they sold everyone on this idea was not with facts or actual evidence of having this island (turns out they didn’t), but by showing them pictures on social media of models on jet skis and having influencers repost an orange box which symbolized their attendance to this elite event shrouded in mystery.  The event was cancelled after everyone arrived to a total disaster. Nothing they were promise...

I am learning that everything we think and feel we create in our lives. Growing up it was easy to blame my feelings and behavior on the circumstances around me because I had a difficult childhood and lots of drama at home. But all that blame did was prevent me from learning what I needed from the situation to become resilient. The truth is it’s my own thinking and attitude that determine how I feel.  I always thought when I become an adult I will make better choices, make my dreams come true and be happy. But really when I became an adult I was the same person with the same limitations. It took me a while to recognize the pattern. Eventually, I realized that no matter where I lived, no matter what job I had, which friends I had, whether I was single or in a relationship, had money or no money, I basically had the same inner thoughts, feelings and problems. There always seemed to be a person, place or situation to blame or an excuse to make. There also was always a set of c...

How do you stay positive when you feel so totally the opposite? This is the age-old question. I’ve found the totally unsexy truth is - discipline. Literally, you have to decide to speak, think and act the opposite of how you feel until it becomes your new truth. It sounds simple, but it can feel like the hardest thing in the world to do. That’s why so many of us lack discipline. Discipline means doing the things you don’t feel like doing at the moment you don’t feel like it. It’s easy to go for a run, do your chores or think something happy in a moment of high energy, but many other times we don’t want to do anything and that’s when you need discipline. We usually have more discipline for things that bring immediate consequences. For example, being late for work tends to have a more immediate consequence than thinking something negative about yourself for the 1000th time. That’s why using your willpower to think positively and choose a better perspective is one of the hard...

“I want to help others, but I’m still struggling myself. How can I inspire others when I feel like such a failure?” Do you ever feel like you can’t help others or make a difference because of your own failure, flaws or weakness? Wanna know a secret? Most of us do or did at one time.  Did you ever consider that the fact that you have this struggle makes you uniquely able to help others in the same or similar situations?  YOU have the personal experience to be a unique light and inspiration to others because you have been there and still struggle with it. Never doubt the positive impact you can have.  To teach something to others you only need to be one step or one chapter ahead of them.  Even more importantly often times just by actively listening and supporting someone we make the biggest difference of all. Who better to help, support and be a good listening to others going through pain than someone who know what it feels like firsthand ? N...

I had a vivid dream last night almost like I was watching a movie. A young cobbler in a poor cottage 🏚 , almost like that from a fairy tale, was with his little sister dreaming of how he’d get them to a better place.  He found a magic talisman 💠 , but didn’t know the true power of what he found. He held it tightly in his hand and with half hope,  half skepticism began telling his little sister his wish of how they were going to get free from their life of poverty.  He wished to be the royal shoe cobbler for the prince 👑 . He would live with his sister in the palace and they’d have plenty of food everyday. Never would he have to work for pennies again because he’d be the constant servant to the future king.  As the spectator in this dream I could see that the magic ✨ was already happening. His dream, that he focussed on, was coming true. But it wouldn’t be as he hoped. I could see the future clearly 🔮 . In his fear 😱 of remaining unfulfill...